It's a war zone in here.

As I turn the corner, one of my colleagues yells out to me from down the hall, "Come get this dang box." He's carrying a box big enough to fit a spare tire in. As he hands it to me and I feel the weight, he reads off something he noticed on the shipping slip taped to the outside of the box. "Nerf guns/Bullets" it reads. He then takes off down the hall to our office at a dead sprint. Flinging open the door, I hear him yell into the crowd, "MIKE'S GOT A HUGE BOX OF NERF GUNS!" And so the fun began.

As soon as I walked through the door, everyone was up from their desk and crowded around the center table in our office. I didn't have to ask for a knife to cut the tape, as I was offered no less than 4 before I could even speak. I opened the box slowly in order to build anticipation from my crowd. Right on top of everything, is a football. Now, Mamma Case had told to expect something from "Nick Saban". Knowing her brother Butch, I took that to mean I was getting some underwear or maybe even some "lawn decorations." This football was neither. Right on the side was the signature of the man himself. What was my first reaction, you ask. Total disbelief. I know my mother-in-law and to think that she held this ball in her hands and then showed the sheer willpower to place it in a box and ship it around the world, simply blows me away. Thanks Mamma! Oh, and my second thought was, "Margaret is going to be SO jealous!"

Unfortunately, there aren't any other true Tide fans in my office and the football didn't garner the type of response from the crowd as it certainly warranted. However, directly under the football was what everyone was waiting for. In all of its yellow, black, orange, plastic, NERF-y glory. I pulled out a revolver-type NERF gun. There were literally shrieks from the men in the crowd. Of course, with all of these people and just one gun I'm sure there were some sinking hearts in the crowd. But alas, I then removed a second, and a third gun. Then I removed two giant bags full of extra darts. Finally, after digging through mound after endless mound of snacks, beef jerky, breakfast bars, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer I found the item that would throw the office into pure chaos. What was it? You guessed it, another NERF gun.

Within seconds, there were little styrofoam darts flying through the air in every possible direction. There were guys laying prone under desks, guys jumping behind chairs and shooting while in the air. There were guys bouncing them off the walls Robocop style. There was even a guy sprawled out on the conference table using the piles of treats I was still removing from the box as impromptu bunkers! Needless to say, the guns stole the show. In this 4 or 5 days since we received them, I have not gone a day without someone doing target practice or an all out NERF war being waged. Just tonight, I witnessed two young men use the NERF revolvers to play out a riveting game of Russian Roulette.

Despite all of the guys being occupied by the toys, there were still plenty standing around when this next part occurred. As I was pulling out goodies by the fistful, I started setting aside the Gold Bond body and foot powder. After 3 bottles (the biggest bottles anyone had every seen) of each, I began to notice a lot of awkward looks from the people around me. After the Gold Bond creams began coming out, I felt it necessary to clarify that not all of them were for me and I did not have some strange illness that required my bathing in medicated powder every night. About half of the office believed me. The other half still won't come within 5 feet of me though.

Mamma Case, Mr. Case, and everyone that contributed to this care package, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for such great gifts. I hope that my blogging does justice to the amount of joy you are bringing to the military men and women out here. There are a lot of people out here that now recognize packages originating from Alabama as ones to behold. I'm extremely grateful and proud to be known as the most popular guy in the office thanks to you. I love you all and cannot wait to thank you in person the next time I'm down to visit.

PS. Here is a picture of me and some of the guys representing for the hometown football team. Note that they haven't been able to put the NERF guns down, even for a picture.

The Youth Take the Cake

Day 1,987: Hello again from the other side of the world. I've been in a pretty good mood the last couple of days and I've been trying to find something happy to write about without providing the play by play of my daily talks with my wife. Well today, I received my muse in the form of not one, not two, but 5 care packages from a wonderfully thoughtful youth group from the great state of Alabama. Roll Tide!

The guys and gals from Chapel Hill Baptist Church Youth Ministry got together and provided myself and, more importantly, the soldiers, sailors, and airmen that I work with a truck load of great snacks and treats to satisfy every sweet tooth in the place. Since in my line of work I am unable to carry a camera while in the office, I am going to paint a picture of a few of the moments that stuck out to me as ones that needed to be captured.

So once I had checked for mail, I returned to my office (shared with about 10-15 people) with boxes stacked up to my nose. Upon entering, I immediately had everyone's attention because when someone gets a care package, we all get a care package. They had no idea how good these particular boxes were going to be. Before I opened the first box, I had a crowd of 3 to 5 people hovering over me just waiting for a glimpse of the goodies.

The first box I opened had tons of magazines in it. US Weekly and People Magazine are as good as gold to the women working in our office. The "Sexiest Man Alive" edition was nearly torn in two. Before I finished going through the rest of the goodies in that box, every magazine was open and the celebrity gossip was flowing freely throughout. That box also contained a ton (maybe literally, there were a lot) of hot chocolate mix pouches. As I am not a coffee drinker, this received high marks in my book of "awesomeness levels."

Another box contained a seeminly endless pile of Little Debbie snacks. The moment this box opened, I could have sworn all of the air in the building was sucked up by the gasps of everyone within (and maybe outside of) eyesight of the glory that is...the Twinkie. I didn't realize it, but apparently twinkies can be eaten without ever chewing a single bite, as several of the soldiers demonstrated after barely containing themselves long enough to remove the wrapper. After setting a few snacks aside to satisfy my own sweet tooth, the remainder of the snacks were placed on the table front and center of the office for all to enjoy. Hours after placing it there, I noticed several people were still munching away. A huge hit with the masses! On a personal note, I want to thank whoever packed this particular box. You clearly had in mind to pack as much awesomeness between the 6 walls of the box as possible. The fact that you included incredibly soft toilet paper indicates that "you get it." The fact that you then stuffed a twinkie into the empty roll of the toilet paper puts you in the top 5 of my "all-time most brilliant idea kind of guy/gal" list. Congratulations, you sir/madame are my hero.

Now, before I delve into the all out madness that ensued upon my opening the fifth and final box, let me just say that there are times out here when sane men and women lose all sense and revert back to caveman like behavior. Ice cream night at the chow hall is as close as I'd seen people come to being animalistic, that is until today. The very first thing I see in the box is a ziplock bag with "Peanut Butter Candy" written in marker. I know what these are. They are little golden pieces of heaven covered in peanut butter. The rest of the poor fortunate souls have no idea what they are about to experience. I passed them out and heard at least 2 grunts and what I am pretty sure was a bear's growl as everyone scarfed them down. People immediately began questioning how something so perfect could exist. I don't want to say that anyone was crying out of sheer joy, but it might have happened. The fact that I followed that up with homemade cookies pushed several people over the edge (they began running around the office screaming like school girls). As these were grown men wearing Army fatigues, it wasn't their proudest moment.

So all funnyness aside, I hope everyone at Chapel Hill knows what joy you have brought to a group of men and women a long, long way from home. Some of these military people don't get care packages that often and a day like to day helps all of them deal with the stresses that come with this line of work. I hope you all recognize that a group of very strong, very committed soldiers, sailors, and airmen are speaking praises about you and the extremely generous gift you provided. I am proud to say that you are all my friends and that you care enough to take the time and spend the money to send me and my colleagues gifts from home. To Justin and Jennifer Ray, (thanks again for marrying Margaret and I!) thank you for being a continuing blessing in my life. I can't wait to see you both again soon.

Endless thanks and lots of blessings,

Mike

PS. The bible verse paper you all sent me is hanging on my wall right next to my door. Thank you for being the vessel for the blessings that God has given me today!